HELLO KARLID! I know you're reading this because I asked you to. Sorry for taking so long to put this up.
Karlid, I know life's playing a joke on you for now. But, I like how you handle them well (: not everyone can do that. I'm one of them.

Karlid, I know it's tough for you now. Really, no one knows how it feels like to be in your shoes. So, I can't tell you to take it easy/ relax and not to be too upset. Come on, who are we kidding? How can we not be upset when things have turned out this way. Be upset all you want, but, do take good care of yourself. There are others who still care for you.

Probably, I can feel you. I've been in this, maybe worst. I don't know what to do and feel. It's like, everybody wants us to forget about everything fast and be happy again but, just can't. Takes time.

You're a happy boy. Hopefully everything will go well for you. You know you have tashah, yuvi, lisdah, izwan, Hannah, your sister and me (:

I seriously forgot what I wanted to type. This is not even half of what I wanted to say. Anyway, feeling better today? Your mom? (:

See you in school okay? Don't quit school okay? For your mom (:

I read your tweets and tumblr. I wish I can feel you and comfort you but I ain't good in words. All I can do I listen. Hopefully, that might help a little.

'You can't change what's done. It's better to just move on.'


I caught you by my mouth :*

Happy mother's day to all the mothers in the world. You only have ONE important lady in your whole life. The one who carries you around in her womb for nine months and deliver you to this world no matter how painful it is.

To my mom,
You are a mother and a father to me. I don't have to judge how great or bad you are. In my eyes, you are amazing. You're a tough and brave lady. You braced yourself to live everyday for us. Put up a strong front when we all know your heart inside is broken into million pieces after my dad left. But, you're too proud to show it all. You pretends you're okay, when you're not. I've seen and heard you cry on numerous occasion. Broke my heart even if I pretend nothing happened. You thought you had lost your listening ears. She forgot she has us. We are ready to hear them. We are ready to listen to her whine. Pour it all out. Stress? Yes, You're ultimately stress. We just can't hate you after all you had done. I listened to you whine to me at times. I can't say anything. Not because I'm saving anyone's ass, but I just don't know what to say to make her feel good. You might think I'm ignoring you. Fact is, I've listened too much that my heart really aches. I worry for you. For myself. Can't afford to lose another one at this point of time when I needed you most. Always, you will say- what if one day I'm not around. WHAT IF this and that. Sigh. My mouth went really heavy when she say all that. What did you expect me to answer back?
I love you mom. I don't know how to say it or express it well. But you know, I've given you all my love. Though it's not enough. All the heart aches and pain in your chest, the tears you've dropped and the wrinkles that was made more obvious to everyone, I'm deeply and truly sorry. I apologize. I tried to be there for you all the time. & still trying. I know it's not enough. Try to be the best in your eye. I love you. From the deepest corner of my heart. Appreciating you more. Loving you more.


Yours sincerely,
your daughter

"A mother understands what a child does not say."

So how's school for everyone? We are going in the fourth week already. I'll tell you about mine.

School has been good to me. Really. Only for the first few weeks that I feel like plastic bag; trash. I had a hard time- VERY, to fit in. I even sent a mass SMS to this four people whom I always mix with in class apologizing for acting like I'm-too-cool-for-you-guys attitude. Fact is, I'm not those who fit in new environment real fast. Everywhere also the same. Sometimes I don't even have anyone talking to me for as long as three months.
But this class really didn't make any initiative to make new friends. On the first day, I made (sort of) two new friends, izwan and lisdah. On the second day, Tasha, Vanessa, and corina. On the third day, no one at all.
Okay, so on the first three days was orientation. Could it get any worse? Tell me about it. I talked to this guy called Dzul on the first day and got ignored. I didn't talk to him again after two weeks. And then on the second day was like 'sports day' and I accidentally bumped into a guy (his face is it) behind me. NOT WITH MY BUTT. That guy is karlid. I didn't realized It was him until he told me. & on the first day we played a stupid game & he's in my group. I didn't even take note because I don't really care. Until, I realized everyone has at least one friend to hang around with. Sad right? And my mum and sister keeps bugging me to make friends. Oh yeah, friends too.
I have one thing to confess- MY CLASS ARE NO ANGELS! I thought they are the quiet innocent one but NO! but really, this class ain't as bad. Reminds me of my sec four time.
Slowly, the secondary friends I mix with in the first week, go their own way. Different breaks, school timing and stuff. So, I had no choice but to finally open my mouth and talk so I could make new friends (:
Oh, and a guy in my class wouldn't talk until recently. All he does was- nod his head, shake his head and shrug his shoulder. He's harith. He's like another danial from my secondary school.
& now I got to tell you, I can't wait for school to start everyday. I miss them already (: <3
& I miss my cliques!
To my friend, Andrew Ong, I'm still going to apologize. But if you choose not to talk to me anymore, then fine. I respect your decision. Afterall, it's my fault. I don't blame you at all. But I still want to share with you about my new school experience. Let time tell. Hope to hear from you soon! (:

There are three amirah-s in the class. Annoying, yes. Because when they say amirah, we have to go like- which amirah? Okay, so that's about it!
Can't wait for Monday! S&W and floorball (: finally I'm meeting my floorball mates! See you! (:



I caught you by my mouth :*